.Tuesday, February 16, 2010 @ 9:43 PM Y
blogged
Reflections of the past...I dun think it was a great year last year...Full of rejections. Unprepareness... Saddness...This year... I do think i have a great start...Am lucky cos, i thought NANA time in the show is over as i've miss this first 15mins of the 35mins show... Yet i was lucky cos when i turn to the channel it was her turn to sing... which followed by scandal, which i was hopin to hear that song... How nice... A great start wif a luck day of a brand new year... Hope my luck will go on as great as this...But then again when we went to pray there was a sad news... that makes me feel very disheartened.... Till now... But my mum ask me to keep hope alive as theres still 1 more time that i could ask for help, miracles to happen ....I was really lost i do wish to , but i think i am weak...When to around not much , but i wonder y my blue black on my leg is increasing...HAHA to think for a moment my bro is rather nice too... As i was wearin short dress ans high heels... He did kind of help mi to get down of the car... though @ 1st he didn't and hence being the culprit in 1 of my blueblack... but then again he was nice after once i grab hold of him... he did help mi for the rest of the days w/o askin...New Year Eve was rather funny trip to my uncle hse...As my bro and my cousin are both NSF now it is kind of funny to c both comin tgt... Though doin diff thing, 1 polic and the other army officer...My cousin started wif a fuuny ction like slaute my bro and say good afternoon sir...
My bro was shock then he start laughin... My uncel then realise my bro was in army and was an officer... they started askin him wad his rank and unit...
Then knowin that both of their camp are near... they started sayin like u comin out lah then walk to my camp... no u shld walk to mine... ( if my bro noe how to play he shld like my rank higher u shld obey mi u walk to my camp...but too bad he dun) Then my sis told our cousin, be careful wad u say later he angry and say now do 200 pumpin for mi ... then everyone laugh...
Soon we have our lunch... My aunt was like y no one go take soup... my bro then stand up and go take... we started sayin things like y he took so long... then my sis like said wait he think something wrong , drink his own share then came out wif angry look sayin i officer leh y ask my go take soup, ur rank lower go in and take and u dare order officer now do 200 pumpin... but of course guess wad, since its my bro that we r sayin this kind of thing nvr happen...
After lunch my sis and i rush off... haha so end of the fun time...
Listening to Silent bible, i realise the lyrics was suitable to describe my feelings...
Phantom minds @ sometime also say my feelins...
Silent bible :(hope nana say this to mi)
- NAKANAI DE SOBA NI IRU KARA - DON'T CRY, I'M RIGHT HERE FOR U KAKAE SUITA
- OMOI WA ITSUKA, KIMI MO IMA WO SHIMETSUKETE IKU - THE FEELINGS U HAVE BEARED FOR SO LONG, WILL SOMEDAY SUFFOCATE & CRUSH U
- KIZUTSUITA KIOKU SAE SUBETE MASHITE - EVEB THE MOST PAINFUL OF MEMORIES WILL LEAVE U POWERLESS
(my feelins)
- HOUTOU NO SHAIWASE WA ARU - IS THERE SUCH A THING AS TURE HAPPINESS
- ME NI MIEZU TODOMETE OKENAI - I CAN'T SEE IT, I CAN'T GRASP IT
- FUTASHI NA SONO SONZAI NO FU A N GA MASHITEKU - THE UNCERTAINTY OF ITS EXISTENCE ONLY RAISES MY UNEASE
- UMERU TAME NI E SABISHISA - THE LIES I PLAYED BURIED MI DEEPED IN PERPETUAL ( EVERLASTING ) LONELINESS
- TSUKURIMONO EGAO NI SUBETE SOMATTA - I CAME TO FACE EVERYTHING WIF A FORECED SMILE
Phantom minds :
- ITSUMO SAGAHITETANDA, HONTOU NO EGAO AFURERU BASHO - ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN SEARCHING, FOR A PLACE WHERE I COULD SMILE AS I PLEASE
MIA a thing i would do now...I felt fear... deep fear of rejection... That i felt my heart was tearin apart to many pieces...I wish to cry but can't do so... i wonder is it because that i am older now that i have learn to surpress my feelings? or is it that i dun wan to lose my face... cos i am somebody that cares of my reputation... i wonder... I dunno ...
